In Christ Alone

Today I went back to work. Yes, I know it is Thursday. Yes, I know tomorrow is the annual Book Parade. Yes, I know Monday is the day after Halloween. Yes, we survived. Me. Brent. Oliver. My students. All of us survived.

The day started at 5:15 when Oliver was "talking" in his crib. I changed his diaper and jumped in the shower. My amazing husband got up (after not getting home until 11:30 last night from work) and fed Oliver in the mean time. When I got out of the shower I changed Oliver's clothes and laid him back down for the 45 minutes before we left. Luckily he fell asleep until I put him in the car seat where he was awake until I dropped him off at the babysitter.

After having spent way too much time on Monday and Tuesday sulking with my mixed emotions (sad, excited, guilty, confused) I knew I needed to "wear my big girl panties" today and suck it up. The day was here. I knew I was ready for work, but sad to leave him. Once everything was in the car (man, it's a lot more than when I only got myself out of the house!) I turned the key to the ignition and realized which song I'd left playing in my CD player from yesterday.

"In Christ Alone my hope is found. He is my light, my strength, my song. This cornerstone. This solid ground. Firm through the fiercest drought and storm. What heights of love. What depths of peace. When fears are stilled, when strivings cease. My comforter, my all in all. Here in the love of Christ I stand."

The truths of this song helped me make it through the day with a smile on my face. I only almost lost if once but was able to walk away before the tears flooded my cheeks. People asked me all day why I was not so upset. Though I did not realize it most of the day, now I do. Jesus held my hand all day. He calmed my fears. He allowed me to know He was in control.