So this morning and most of the afternoon I was all pumped about God's grace and how I was going to understand it more, apply it to my relationships and all that jazz. However I am learning that following God is not about the overall picture, the day by day, but the details. Yes, God sees the whole picture. But He's a God of details... moment by moment details. And it's frustrating!
When will I ever grasp this? When will I understand what "moment by moment" truly looks like? What does total surrender really look like anyway? I keep hearing "give it to God" and "He will take care of you" and "He loves you more than anything". I believe these statements to be true, but what does it look like? When will I trust God so much that the desire to be busy and not feel lonely when I am alone will end? Will it ever? Is this my version of the "thorn in my side" that Paul talks about in the New Testament?
That is where I am at right now. I'm trying to figure out what grace truly looks like and how to have it with those I interact with. (Note: I was doing great at giving grace to those I was around me when I was by myself...) I want more than anything for the feelings of anxiety to fully diminish as I begin to understand what it means "to know and be known by God".
Now that I have done some praying and verbal processing I will go back in the living room, pray for the ability to give grace to my husband, and watch Over the Hedge. And I will pray for contentment in this.
Tomorrow we are going to our first Kentucky State Park, Big Bone Lick, to go hiking. Sunday we are going to a MLS Soccer Game: Columbus Crew vs. Houston Dynamo. A fun filled weekend! Woo Hoo!
Details and pictures will be coming...
1 comment:
{{{Melissa}}I think a lot of us struggle with this. Moment by moment IS frustrating. And, of course, it's harder right now. You are in a new place, no routine, and it's just you & Brent. Remember, giving grace to a spouse is a daily 'struggle'! ;)
I think when you go to Big Bone Lick (love that name) and see God's beauty all around you, you'll feel contentment. Maybe not the way you are seeking right now, but He'll be there.
Enjoy your weekend and the companionship of Brent!
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